Let others happen.

Let others happen. ‘Yeah, good luck with that,’ you might say. And I agree with you. The possibility to let others happen is no simple task. First we have to drop judging.

When my wife says something that is obviously unconsidered, I typically respond with, “Don’t be stupid.” I have not only created a gulf between us in that moment, I have also reinforced her childhood pattern of unworthiness.

But there is a better option. Can you remember to watch yourself in the heat of the moment? Can you notice the act of judgment? The consequence is freedom for the other, and that leads to freedom for yourself.

Imagine allowing the other the space to be just as they are. (After all, your judgments are your prison.)


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