. . . but not really.

What face do you wear when you meeting your boss, your children, your spouse, your lover, your friend, your ex-friend? Are you always the same or do you put on a different face with each?

Rarely have I met someone who remains the same in every situation. The rest of us are strategizing constantly. We are not really present. Surrogates–strategies–take our place. What a very strange experience it is to be there but not really. Often I experience myself in the background, listing in disbelief at the words escaping my mouth.

In the courtroom of life, the Judge, solemn with furrowed brow, asks, “Did you say that, do that?” and the answer is, “Yes, Your Honor, but not really.”

This is our situation. We have relinquished our lives to a bunch of strategies consisting primarily of the opinions and expectations of others. Life isn’t that way for every human being. Over the course of my life I have personally travelled the path with four such beings. On meeting one, you know  instantly that you are in the company of someone extraordinary.

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